But hey, to
quote the song, “At least I’m gonna say that I tried…”
"Baby, It’s
Cold Outside" was written in 1948 by Frank Loesser, a Tony, Oscar, and
Pulitzer Prize winning songwriter, initially penned to be sung as a duet
between himself and his wife, actress Lynn Garland, at a housewarming party
they’d been invited to at the Navarro Hotel in NYC. At the time, it was common
for Hollywood entertainers to perform at such occasions, so actors doing scenes
or singers performing songs out in “civilian” life was par for the course. The
couple sang the song at the end of the party, as a humorous cue to the guests
to leave. A musical “Get the fuck out,” if you will. It was so well received
that Loesser and Garland were then invited to perform it at other gatherings,
and it became a passport to the best parties of the day, which neither Loesser
nor Garland would have had the star-power to gain an invite to otherwise. In
fact, a number of such soirees were engineered just for the sake of having the
couple as the closing act.
When the luster
wore off of this momentary appeal, Loesser sold the song to MGM studios, much
to his wife's annoyance. In turn, MGM incorporated it into a romantic comedy
called “Neptune’s Daughter,” where it was again a smashing success, garnering
Loesser his first of five Oscar nominations, and his only win. The song is
performed twice in the film, between two different couples, sung once by Betty
Garrett and Red Skelton, and again by Esther Williams and Ricardo Mantalban.
Interestingly, the first time it appears in the film, the part of the pursuer
is sung by the female character (played by Betty Garrett), whose affection for
the male character (Red Skelton) is unrequited. It makes for an interesting
reversal for contemporary viewers, as the innuendo and subtext are flipped on
their head, especially when viewed in light of today’s #metoo climate.
That same sector
of society that recently savaged actor Henry Cavill for expressing his wariness
of flirting with women in today’s environment, are also the people who have
raised the faux alarm over this song. They said that Henry should be able to
tell the difference between flirting and harassment, between wooing and
assault, etc. But then with no sense of irony at all, they then turn and say
that this song is too "rape-y," and encourages men not to take ‘no’ for an answer. Or that the woman’s part (or Red Skelton’s, if you please) is purposefully
written to make it seem like she was asking for it, so it’s her fault if she
gets assaulted. As though none of us possesses the emotional intelligence to
properly read the subtext of the song, or enjoy the flirtatious tension in the
call and response repartee.
The song has been
performed as duets and solos for almost seventy years, by such artists as Sammy
Davis Jr., Bette Midler, Barry Manilow, Ray Charles, Tom Jones, Norah Jones,
Michael Buble, Cee-Lo, Christina Aguilera, Willie Nelson, Colbie Callait,
Sheryl Crow, Amy Grant, James Taylor, and Dolly Parton. Meanwhile, the
hand-wringing revisionist historians and overly-earnest intellectual luminaries
of the Glitterati step right over everything from “Funky Cold Medina,” “Ain’t
No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Get None),” “Blurred Lines,” “Bitches Ain’t Shit,”
“So Much Better,” “King’s Dead,” and “Psycho,” to get to “Baby, It’s Cold
Outside,” and so find their virtue-signaling righteous indignation. Which is a
bit like eating a bucket of warm shit and then complaining that there was a
hair in it, but whatever.
Remember back in
the day when the religious right, the Moral Majority, and all those sweaty
Televangelists like Jim and Tammy Fay Baker, Jerry Fallwell, and Jimmy Swaggart
were clutching their pearls and warning us about backward-masked messages from
Satan in Led Zeppelin Songs, and trying to get George Michael banned for “I
Want Your Sex?” They were actually able to force George Michael to change his
video so that the word 'monogamy' was written on a woman's bare back in
lipstick, as a nod to their censorious prudity. Thank goodness. In the midst of
all that, they introduced the Parental Advisory warning, and other ratings
systems which we still see today.
But at least back
then, the counter culture revolutionaries on the left had a field day, mocking
them in story and song, and shrieking about it all as though the sky were
falling. Well, the shoe’s on the other foot now, and the cultural Thought
Police are coming at us from the other end of the political spectrum. Only now,
the people that used to defend us from the intellectual tyranny of this sort of
enforced Groupthink are cowering before it. Just ask Kevin Hart.
Oh well, like the
man said: "Don't get upset girl, that's just how it goes. I don't love you
hoes, I'm out the do'." And a Merry Whatever-Doesn’t-Offend-You to all.
EPILOGUE
Well, it's
official, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has been returned to the radio
after stations—both AM and FM—in San Francisco, Cleveland, and Buffalo
conducted listener polls to determine the true nature of the outcry over the
song.
In all three
markets, the song received at least 77% support or higher, and the remaining 23%
were split between people who took offense and the undecided. The confirmed
detractors averaged on 14% in those markets, meaning that 86% of the population
either likes the song or doesn't care.
So all that
outcry was generated by 14% of the population, pretty much a complete
non-troversy. That sounds about right, if not a bit high. Offensensitivity is a
blight on our culture, because outrage gives people a megaphone. Like a satisfied
customer tells 1 person, or less, but an angry customer tells 7. The squeaky
wheel gets the oil, etc. It deforms our perceptions, and I view it as a kind of
propaganda. Not quite as asinine as the whole Starbucks cup farce, but in the ballpark.
If your outrage
be debunked in 90 seconds on Google, please try harder.
